Because of You
by padme's sister
Summary: The Doctor finds Kelly Clarkson's lyrics to be very...true...when he finds them written in a notebook in Rose's room that he should never have found in the first place. 10th Doc and Rose. Better summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note: Hey guys, I thought of this the other night when I couldn't get to sleep and decided to listen to my Kelly Clarkson CD. I love 'Because of You' and so I replayed it a few times...then it occured to me how true to Doctor Who some of the lyrics were. I just had to write this story after that, and have somehow managed to combine humour and angst...I hope...**

**So, I hope you enjoy, and I hope this story wasn't too pointless, unlike some of my other stories. So, enjoy, and don't be afraid to tell me what you think of this first chapter. Infact, be as honest as you like. **

**This is only the first half. The second half should be up in a few days, hopefully, so enjoy!**

**oOo**

"Rose? Rose you up yet? Those planets won't save themselves you know!"

The Doctor was standing outside Rose's bedroom door, hands dug into his pockets, tie loose, hair ruffled up - like he'd run a hand through it recently.

"Oh Rosebud!" he called sweetly, praying that she wouldn't be in her room after all. If she was, he'd be receiving a slap any moment.

To his relief, she wasn't.

_What on Jupiter does she do in her room? Its not like she has time to do anything really - except sleep. Why do humans need so much sleep anyway? Why have I got this sudden urge to find out what's in Rose's room? _he found himself wondering. He had become overwhelmed with curiosity - the same curiosity he'd had about the button on the Sycorax ship, the medicines in the hospital on New Earth and the werewolf stories at Balmoral. He reached for the door handle.

"Damn! Locked!" he said outloud, a little too loudly perhaps. "Since when does Rose ever lock her door?"

"Since there's obviously something in there she doesn't want you to see," a female voice replied - but it wasn't Rose. It was the TARDIS, and she was talking telepathically to the Doctor.

"TARDIS, my marvelously fantastic and super dee duper ship! You couldn't help me out could you?" he asked hopefully, stroking the door frame affectionately.

"Well alright. Since you asked so nicely. But Rose won't be happy if she returns from the library and finds you snooping."

"I don't snoop! I investigate!" the Doctor corrected, but he could see her point. "You couldn't stall her could you? Ten minutes max?"

"Fine, but don't blame me if you end up with a stroppy teenager afterwards...and remember, she is the Bad Wolf!"

"Yeah I know. Lucky she doesn't know how to use her powers yet...and what do you mean 'don't blame me'? Would I really do that to you?" The Doctor asked innocently.

"Yes," came the knowing reply and the Doctor pouted, then pulled a perfectly stupid face and burst out laughing. "Alright, I promise I'll take all the blame IF - and only IF - she finds out," he agreed at last.

"Fine. But I can't garuantee how long I can stall her so you'd better hurry up."

The Doctor pulled the handle down and turned to walk through the door, only to walk into it instead.

"Ahem!"

"Sorry," the TARDIS replied, unlocking the door and letting it swing open. "But why didn't you just use your sonic screwdriver?"

"Out of juice," came the reply as the Doctor hurried inside Rose's room and began scouting round, clicking his tongue like he always did when he was searching frantically for an answer.

It wasn't long before he found what Rose probably didn't want him to find - a small, leather bound notebook tucked under her pillow. The first few pages just had doodles of various things on - Daleks with clown faces, the TARDIS, a vase of roses and something that vaguelly resembled the sonic screwdriver.

The page after that was full of notes about the Bad Wolf - obviously Rose had been trying to work it all out, but so far wasn't having much luck.

_If only she knew the truth, _he thought sadly. The TARDIS gave a sudden jerk, almost knocking him off his feet.

"What was that?" he demanded.

"A distraction. Hurry, it won't have stalled Rose for long."

The Doctor turned the page and found something that really caught his attention. To any normal person, they would have seemed like a set of Kelly Clarkson lyrics - but to the Doctor they were so much more.

"She's coming!" the TARDIS warned, so he hastily shoved the notebook in his pocket and fled the room as the TARDIS gave another distracting shudder. He'd only just closed the door, allowing the TARDIS to lock it for him, and composed himself to look innocent when Rose came storming round the corner, her arms piled high with old, dusty books. Several pages had been marked with scraps of paper.

"Alright?" he asked casually.

"You seriously need to get stabilisers on this thing. It keeps jerking and making me drop all my books!"

"I'll have a word with her - I promise," the Doctor replied.

"Oh no need - I've already told it what I think about it!" Rose huffed, clearly not in a good mood as she passed him and made her way to her room, lingering deliberately outside it, on the pretence of finding her key in her pocket.

The Doctor took the hint and left her alone. Besides, he wanted to examine that notebook of hers and return it before she realised it was missing. There'd be hell to pay if he didn't.

oOo

"What was the Doctor up to?" Rose asked as she closed her door a little too firmly with her foot and dumped the books on the floor.

"Nothing, honest," came the TARDIS's telepathic reply.

"Really? You are such a rubbish liar!" Rose grinned slightly as she sat herself down on the floor, cross-legged by the pile of books, pulling the first into her lap.

"So now I'm a rubbish liar aswell as - now how did you put it? a 'stupid MDF excuse for a rubbishly disguised hunk of junk'?"

Rose winced. "Yeah, about that..."

"You don't need to appologise. I know you didn't mean it really."

"Thanks, but I do truly mean it when I say that I'm really sorry. I don't think that about you at all. You're fantastic, and the Doctor wouldn't be half the man he is without you."

Rose suddenly grinned at the fact that, to any normal person, she'd be sitting here talking to herself right now. But then she realised that the TARDIS was saying something again. It usually took all her concentration to listen to the TARDIS, so if anyone was watching her, they'de not only think that she was talking to herself, but that she had slipped into a little world of her own.

"Rose Tyler, you know that flattery will get you everywhere!" the TARDIS was saying.

"Really? So you'll tell me what the Doctor was just doing in my room then?" Rose asked hopefully.

"Nope."

"But-"

"Why do you even think he was in your room?"

This rather abrupt change to the conversation caught Rose by surprise and she paused for a moment, but only a moment, before continuing.

"Because, while you were distracting me by throwing my books everywhere, the Doctor was obviously up to something. Bit of a coincidence that I find him outside my room minutes later. Plus, he had that look in his eye - the one that says 'I know something you don't, but I'm not gonna tell ya'."

"Alright! Fine!" The TARDIS sighed in exasperation. "Yes he was in your room. He seemed to think that you were hiding something from him. He found your notebook."

A thunderous look crossed Rose's face. "Where is he?" she asked in a dangerously calm voice.

"His room, I think...oh and one more thing."

"What?" Rose asked as she got up and started for the door.

"He...well...he...erm...he..."

"Yes?" Rose was getting impatient, her hand hovering over the door handle.

"He called you Rosebud. Please don't hurt him!"

"Hurt him? I'll bloody kill him!" Rose cried, storming from her room. Now the TARDIS had a dilemma. Did she send Rose the long way and warn the Doctor? Or did she sit back and let him take the wrath of the Bad Wolf. Whatever decision she chose, sparks would fly. She pondered for a moment, then made her choice.

She chose the latter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note: Hey guys, here's the second part of my story, and I hope it's as popular as the first, although I have to admit that I did write it over several days and haven't had a chance to check it properly yet. Therefor it may not totally make sense, but hopefully you'll see what i'm trying to get at...Enjoy! **

**Oh, and thanks for all your great reviews. I'm so glad you liked the first half...now to see how many of you like this second half...hmmm...I think I'll go write another story while I wait for your reviews. Toodles!**

**oOo**

The Doctor was sitting at the desk in his room, studying the lyrics and failing to ignore just how true they were. He was so focused on the little black book that he didn't hear the angry footsteps of his companion approaching - nor did he notice the door fly open, rebound off the wall behind it and slam shut again.

He even somehow managed to miss the long string of part English, part Gallifreyan cursing coming from the other side of the door.

What he couldn't fail to notice, however, was the feel of two hands clamped round his throat - not tight enough to cause damage, or even pain - just enough to let him know that Rose meant business.

"What's up Rose-"

"Say bud and I'll do this," Rose threatened, tightening her grip momentarily, before releasing it again.

"Point taken," he replied, wincing at the sudden pressure. "So how can I help my fine young, beautiful assistant?"

"Give it back," she stated simply, ignoring the compliment.

"What?"

"My notebook. Give it back."

"How do you know about that?" the Doctor asked, alarmed.

"The TARDIS told me everything."

_I thought the TARDIS only told me everything? I didn't even know that Rose could talk to her._

"After you called her a stupid MDF excuse for a rubbishly disguised hunk of junk? I'm surprised she didn't eject you into a black hole!"

"Yeah, well..." Rose replied a little sheepishly, lowering her hands from his neck. "We came to an understanding."

"What? You appologise and she spills the beans on what I was doing?"

"Mmmm hmmm." Rose once again sat herself cross-legged on the floor and looked up at the Doctor, waiting for him to explain himself.

"Well that's not very fair is it? You both ganging up on me or something?"

"Us girls gotta stick together. Now about my book."

"What do you mean 'us girls gotta stick together'?" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Don't change the subject. My book. Please."

"And if I refuse?" he replied defiantly.

Rose wasn't exactly sure what she'd do, but she liked the idea of tearing his arms from his body and beating him round the head with them.

"Oooh, nasty," the Doctor grimaced. "I thought you didn't like blood?"

"How did you know what I was thinking?" she gasped in astonishment. She knew that he could read minds, but he usually had to be touching the person to do that.

"Now who's changing the subject?" he grinned cheekily.

"Stop it! Just give me my book!" Rose huffed, sensing that she was getting nowhere fast.

"Why is it so important to you?" the Doctor enquired, trying to affect an air of suspicion that would hopefully make Rose give away whatever she was hiding.

"Why is it so important to _you_?" Rose countered and the Doctor grinned again, realising that he'd been caught in his own trap. Now the only way out would be to tell her the truth. But did he really want to, judging by the mood she was in?

He saw her scowl deepen, and realised that she'd turned her angry stare up to about 11. Considering the scale only went up to 10, he decided that the truth probably was the best option.

"I found your room locked earlier when I was looking for you, and seeing as you never lock your door, I became curious. I knew you must be hiding something, so I persuaded the TARDIS to help me in my - "

"Snooping?"

"Investigating! I don't snoop!" he corrected. "Why does everyone think I snoop? And please don't interupt."

"Sorry," Rose muttered. Now that the Doctor was finally telling the truth, she didn't want to put him off.

"Good. Well, when I found this, I was curious - great drawings by the way." He held up the Dalek clown doodle. "Got the expression spot on!"

"Thanks."

"Then I saw this whole Bad Wolf thing - worked it out yet?"

"Nope - you?"

"Nope."

"Liar!"

"How do you know that I'm lying?"

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but the Doctor was off again. "Anyway, now we get to the interesting bit." He turned the page and Rose froze like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"These Kelly Clarkson lyrics. Is there a reason why you wrote them all down?"

Rose heaved a huge sigh of relief. He hadn't found what she'd thought he'd found. She shook her head. "My mate Shareen sent me a text asking for them, so next time we went to London, I was gonna give them to her."

"Hmmm...well I bet you're wondering why I found them interesting then, aren't you?"

To be honest, Rose couldn't really have cared less. Is that what all the strange behaviour was over? A page of song lyrics? She noticed that the Doctor was watching eagerly, so she simply nodded her head. Anything to keep him happy so that he'd give her book back before he found what she was really hiding.

"Well, when I started reading them, I realised just how true these lyrics are...they could almost be a poem from your point of view."

"Huh?" Rose asked, confusion etching its way across her face now, to replace the anger.

"Listen to this first line - 'I will not make the same mistakes that you did'."

"And?"

"Well I have made pleanty of mistakes, haven't I. And all of them ones that you wouldn't want to make."

"Tell me, when did this conversation go completely whoosh?" Rose asked, running one hand over her head.

"I took you to see your own planet blow up...I locked you in a basement with a Dalek...I left you to face those Sycorax alone...I've done so many stupid things that put your life in danger..."

"They weren't your fault," Rose replied, finally beginning to see what he was talking about.

"But they were Rose. And this song says that."

"Doctor, its just a song. It don't mean anything," Rose insisted, but the Doctor was shaking his head.

"It does Rose. This song means so much. I mean, listen to this next line - 'I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery'. I've caused my heart so much misery that at times I can't stand it anymore."

"Please Doctor, its just a stupid song. Forget it," Rose pleaded.

"But I can't Rose. I die a little each day because of the grief I've brought on myself. I see the faces of the people I couldn't save, every night in my dreams. I see the day when you die, leaving me alone once again. I see the day my people - the Time Lords - died, and it's killing me Rose. 'I will not break, the way you did - you fell so hard'. The day I broke, I fell so hard that I thought I'de never get up again."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, trying to hold back tears as she listened to his confession. This was the most honest he'd ever been to anyone, and he'd chosen to tell her. She felt honoured, but also slightly afraid.

"When I thought the Time War was over and I was the last one left, I wished I could just die. It was terrible. Then I met you, and I felt myself lifting up again until I felt like nothing could bring me down. That all changed when the Anne-Droid dissintegrated you. I thought I'de lost you Rose, and that was the worst thing I've ever had to face. Losing you. I fell so hard, I thought I might crash through the floor."

"But everything's alright now," Rose replied, wiping a tear from her eye before it could properly form. The Doctor skimmed down to a part of the song later on.

"'I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out'. You're always getting lost or wandering off, and because of it, I call you stupid, or thick, and I always seem to blame you if anything happens."

"I'd noticed," Rose grinned slightly.

"'I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes'. I never cry, so you don't cry either, because you think it's a sign of weakness if you do."

"That's not true. I've cried loads," Rose protested, then wondered why she was proud to admit that she cried all the time. But she had always had a good reason to cry. She'd never cried just for the fun of it.

"'I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh, everyday of my life'. How many times have you hidden your jealousy behind a fake smile? Or your fear? How many times have you faked a smile to cover that up?"

"Oi, don't turn this round on me!" Rose exclaimed. "I thought you said this was about you? Not me!"

"It is, but just wait. This next line - 'My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with' - how true is that? Huh? You've never complained when I found someone else. You've always just taken it in your stride. When I regenerated, ok you were a little messed up for a while, but never broken hearted, because I'de never made your heart whole in the first place."

"Says who?" Rose whispered, tears blinding her now and forcing her to look away. She'd hoped the Doctor wouldn't be able to hear, but he did.

"Say that again?" he asked, leaning closer to her, listening to her muffled sobs as she tried to hide her face in her hands.

"I said 'says who?'" she replied at last, looking up. Her face was tear streaked and some of her make-up had run.

"Well, you. You've never said that you didn't like me going off with other women. Like Jabe - you were fine with her. And Linda with an I - you never complained about her either."

"Thats because you were happy, and I didn't want to spoil that," Rose muttered. "But this stuff about never breaking my heart, and it never being whole - thats not true."

Now it was the Doctor's turn to look puzzled. "Are you saying that you...you..."

"I love you." She said it then, and it was real, and warm, and genuine. "I have done, ever since I met you in that basement so long ago. When you went off with others, like Jabe and Linda, I was jealous, but I always hid it because I was afraid you didn't love me back and I wanted to save myself the heart ache. Then when you sent me home, I knew that you must love me to be able to do something like that. Otherwise you would have let me stay, like you let Jack stay too..."

There was a short pause as both contemplated what Rose had just said, and about Jack, who they'de left behind on the Gamestation. They'd gone back for him a while later, but he'd gone.

"So when you regenerated...it really did break my heart," Rose continued at last. "I thought I'd lost you forever, and this time it was my turn to fall hard. I grieved for you! The old you, I mean...I actually grieved for you because I thought you'de gone forever."

The Doctor was stunned into silence. Rose loved him? Oh how long had he waited to hear her say those three little words. And now that she had, all he could do was sit and stare at her?

'Tell her, stupid', the TARDIS hissed, jerking him out of his trance.

"Rose I love you too," he blurted out, and Rose's head jerked up from her hands, where she'd just replaced it.

"You...you do?" she whispered. He nodded.

"Yes. But like you, I was afraid that you wouldn't love me in return. I mean, who could love a time travelling alien with two hearts, who never dies, but changes his body instead?"

"Me," Rose grinned and looked up into his deep brown eyes with her own sparkling ones. Then, she gently took the book from his hand and turned it to the next page, before showing him.

There was a huge red heart with a photo of the Doctor in the centre, and in neat writting underneath, the words 'My Doctor - My Love'.

That was what she'd been worried about him finding. But now it didn't matter because he knew the truth, so she was no longer ashamed of him seeing it.

"Come here, you silly ape," he said, but not in an unkind way as he pulled her closer to him. And then he kissed her, properly. On the lips. And it was unlike either of the other kisses he'd given her, because this time Rose was herself. There was no Bad Wolf or Lady Cassandra to stop her knowing what was going on. This time she kissed him back, and it was her choice.

And she loved it.

"So tell me, Miss Tyler. What now?" the Doctor asked when they finally broke apart. Rose shrugged.

"Take me somewhere exotic...romantic...somewhere like - "

"You're room?" the Doctor suggested, his accent taking on a slightly scottish tone as he raised his eyebrows at her in a suggestive manner.

"Down boy!" Rose laughed, but she didn't stop him from scooping her up into his arms and carrying her back to her own room anyway.

As Rose's door closed behind them, the TARDIS gave a contented sigh, thoroughly pleased that she'd played a small part in bringing the two lovebirds together. After all, they were obviously meant for each other. She'd known that from the moment Rose had first stepped through the front door.

END


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE TO READERS...**

**Author Note: Hmmm, I was thinking of ending it there...but then when I re-read it, there was so much more I could do with the story and leaving it there would be such a waste...so yes I shall be continuing, but not for a little while yet...I need time to finish some of my other stories first.**

**But watch this space!**


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